James Bond: Tomorrow’s 10 Funniest Quotes Never Dies


Golden eye managed to single-handedly revitalize the old James Bond film franchise at a time when audiences seemed unsure whether it could continue. Timothy Dalton wasn’t a terrible Bond, but the scripts he was given were too threatening, petty, and dark for many viewers to invest in. It wasn’t until Pierce Brosnan decided to put himself in 007’s shoes that the series changed.

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Naturally, the success of that movie would pave the way for a sequel to drop just two years later. The tomorrow Never Die built on the Bond character personified by Brosnan and moved the character in a more humanistic direction. As expected, it was filled with laughs and funny phrases, the best of which are featured below.

10 “Backseat driver!”

Bond in danger

The opening act of The tomorrow Never Die saw Bond infiltrate a top-secret black market gun deal. When his cover was discovered, Bond escaped in a fighter plane before a pair of high-powered missiles arrived to take out the bad guys. After barely leaving, Bond was attacked by a terrorist sitting in the passenger seat of the jet, who attempted to strangle him with a club.

At the same time, a second jet flew in pursuit, attempting to shoot it down. With few resources, Bond maneuvered his jet under the enemy and hit the button on the ejection seat, sending his copilot up like a missile. He then made this hilariously predictable joke to get the laughs rolling.

9 “Yes sir. As requested, it is buggy, which means people will be forced to update for years.”

Elliot Carver scheming

Elliot Carver was a genius at making the public scoff, and he used the most powerful medium to do so: the media. When he wasn’t writing fake news headlines to spark international conflict and erase his rivals, Carver was making money through other means.

One of these included entering the software business. When you asked your associate, Mr. Jones, if they were ready to roll out their new program, he responded with this funny quote, which was obviously a dig at Microsoft and their Windows 95 debacle that took place just two years earlier.

8 Moneypenny: “Don’t ask.” M: “Don’t say it.”

Bond talking to Moneypenny

When Bond wasn’t saving the world from the threats of nuclear war, global economic collapse, or space-age super weaponry, he was letting off steam by engaging in his favorite hobby: fornication. After distinguishing it by the skin of the teeth during the opening act of the film, Bond saw fit to “brush up on some Danish,” until Moneypenny called him back to MI6.

When Moneypenny found out what Bond was really up to, he couldn’t help but comment. He hung up the phone, only to turn and look at M who was there. The two participated in this dating exchange, which was indicative of how both women felt about Bond’s after-hours activities.

7 Roebuck: “With all due respect, M, sometimes I don’t think you have the balls for this job!” M: “Maybe, but the advantage is that I don’t have to think with them all the time.”

Roebuck vs.M

The new M showed its toughness and will to act decisively when it debuted in Golden eye. It only made sense that Judi Dench was brought in for another shot as a counterpoint to James Bond’s reckless methods. She was also not above dealing the blows as much as she took them.

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After Elliot Carver faked an attack in the Chinese sea to instigate hostile tensions between Britain and China, M was reluctant to move the fleet in response. When she was reprimanded by Admiral Roebuck of the British Navy for the decision, she reminded him of the importance of remaining sensible during a crisis, using the funniest analogy of all.

6 Q: “Your new phone. Talk here. Listen here.” Bond: “That’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years.”

Bond gets his new phone

The Bond-Q joke is one of the best parts of any 007 movie, and The tomorrow Never Die was no exception. He showed up to deliver some cool new gadgets for Bond to take to the field, including a fully animated 7-series BMW with armor, reinforced windows, and enough weaponry to level a city block.

Before all that, however, Q had to give Bond his new phone. As is customary with any device coming out of his lab, Q saw fit to remind Bond that it was, in fact, still a phone. He mumbled this funny quote, with an equally hilarious response from Bond, who must have wondered what was going on.

5 “They will print anything these days!”

Bond in the press

To recover the infamous GPS encoder that sparked the initial conflict between Britain and China, Bond infiltrated Elliot Carver’s newspaper press. It wasn’t long before their plans took a nosedive when Chinese secret agent Wai Lin showed up for exactly the same reason.

A shooting started at the factory when Bond tried to escape. Several of Carver’s men tried to get close to Bond personally, one of whom ended up going headlong into a printing press. As his blood covered the newspapers printed on the other side, Bond dropped this sentence to laugh.

4 Sergeant Major: “Free fall for 5 miles and use your oxygen or die of suffocation!” Wade: “Sounds like my first marriage!”

Bond preparing for a HALO jump

To gather clues to what Carver had been up to, Bond decides to parachute into Vietnamese waters where HMS Devonshire was sunk by his stealth ship. This required taking off from Okinawa and making a high jump to avoid detection by Vietnamese authorities.

The Sergeant Major in charge of the jump (played by Aliens alumnus, Al Matthews) gave a quick rundown on the jump procedure to Bond and his CIA friend Jack Wade, who returned for another outing after appearing on Golden eye. Their exchange was revealing and fun.

3 “I would have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough.”

Bond vs. Carver

After being captured by Elliot Carver’s men in Vietnamese waters, Bond and Wai Lin were taken back to their Saigon headquarters, where Carver himself laid out his plans. His next order of business was to explain how Bond was going to die at the hands of his henchman Stamper, an experienced sadist and torturer.

Carver described the use of Chakra torture to prolong the agony in the victim as long as possible, thinking that Bond would break under the pressure. He was annoyed when Bond nonchalantly responded with this knee patting quote, to which even Wai Lin smiled.

2 Wai Lin: “You were pretty good on the bike.” Bond: “Well, that comes from not having grown up at all.”

Bond and Wai Lin

After narrowly escaping from Carver’s henchmen on the streets of Saigon using nothing but a motorcycle and a clothespin, Wai Lin and Bond took time to shower and congratulate each other on a job well done. Bond jokes, “You were pretty good with that hook,” to which Wai Lin responds, “Thank you. It comes from growing up in a tough neighborhood.”

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When she, in turn, congratulates Bond on his motorcycle skills, Bond responded with this quote. It was indicative of the character played by Pierce Brosnan: a mischievous boy scout who didn’t take life too seriously, despite his role as a top-tier MI6 agent.

one “And they say that communists don’t know how to have fun.”

Bond and Wai Lin on a boat

After narrowly escaping Carver’s headquarters in Saigon, Bond and Wai Lin decided to band together to go after Carver’s stealth ship, which they knew would be used to spark a full-blown war between the two countries. Wai Lin made some jokes about spending the night with a secret agent from a “corrupt” nation like Britain.

Amused, Bond responded with this joke, which was a lighthearted dig into China’s deep roots in Maoist communism. However, the two managed to make a good team as they worked to prevent both governments from doing something they would regret.

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