In the catalog of characters from the iconic show forever Seinfeld, George Costanza is among the funniest and perhaps the most memorable. Almost completely based on co-creator Larry David With his own misanthropic personality, George managed to be a tight-fisted and utterly selfish curmudgeon who somehow, despite his remarkably disgusting personality, never lost the audience.

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It turns out that a character based on someone who is always willing to say or do what other people are too nice, or maybe too scared, is the exact type of character that the audience wants to see. Almost a proto antihero created years before Tony Soprano or Don Draper popularized the concept, George’s antics leave him with a plethora of remarkable quotes that seem to be ripped straight from the subconscious of a truly warped, yet funny mind.

10 “God would never let me succeed; he would kill me first.”

George is no stranger to things that don’t go his way. Throughout the show’s nine-season run, fans could probably count the number of times something actually worked for the one-handed man. This is precisely why when he and Jerry’s television pilot are about to go on the air, George’s anxiety grows as he waits for the moment when the universe decides to drop the other shoe and destroy his success.

Always realistic, this line of thinking is exactly what most people feel when they get a suspiciously good hand, something George knows all about as he is suspicious of everything.

9 “Jerry, just remember. It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

Another sage advice from a man who is too comfortable lying, at this point George gives Jerry some advice before he undergoes a polygraph test to show a police officer that he is interested that he has never seen. Melrose Place.

Of course, Jerry is unable to truly embody this lie as George would, and breaks down during questioning revealing his love for the show. Although useless in the end, this quote is a succinct summary of George Costanza’s mindset that undoubtedly always leads him into embarrassing situations.

8 “Probation, that’s Dynamite.”

In his life-long quest to turn his reality into what is most convenient for him, George becomes dizzy at the prospect of a new girlfriend who is currently in prison. For him this is the perfect arrangement as he will have full control over when they can see each other and never have to worry about losing her to another man.

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Naturally, this plan fails when she reveals that she is on probation. Horrified at the idea that his new girlfriend will be given the freedom to come and go in his life as she sees fit and too scared to break up with her, George spits out this half-hearted show of his enthusiasm for unwanted development. This leads him to lie to the parole board and tell them about his plans to join a heist when he is released, causing him to be denied.

7 “You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect!”

George, who has never gone the extra mile to improve himself, is much more comfortable pretending to do something than actually doing it. Nowhere is it clearer than when you’re arguing with Jerry before dinner and letting this slip away. While George’s obsession with being seen as an architect has long been studied, not once does he strive to become one.

With George, he is far more interested in the illusion of intellect and money that the profession offers than in the actual work that it entails. Not entirely admirable, at least identifiable, in George’s mind the only thing better than doing something is pretending to do something.

6 “If it weren’t for the bathroom, there would be no books.”

A theory that only George could come up with, this comes after he is forced to purchase a $ 100 French Impressionist book as a result of reading it in the bathroom. Never someone to read in the first place, the idea of ​​actually paying for a book is really foreign to him, prompting him to find someone he can sell this tainted book to.

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After trying to return the book to the original store, donate it to charities for $ 200, and sell it to Elaine, George finally decides that the only way to recoup his losses on the book is to steal another one from the original store. , only to be handed over by Jerry as a way to clear his uncle’s name.

5 “The so-called idiot store, they are running out of you.”

Burned by a co-worker while gorging himself on cocktail shrimp at a meeting, George realizes the perfect response to his co-worker’s hit. This isn’t really a great comeback, which Jerry and Elaine are trying to convince him of. It only encourages his insistence on recreating the scene in which the original prank occurred so that he can deliver this comeback.

Going so far as to fly to a different state to attend a meeting, with shrimp, that his coworker will be a part of, George finally has his moment to deliver his rebuttal only to have his coworker return it immediately with another insult. This leads George to make a joke about the man’s wife, who is revealed to be in a coma, and officially loses the altercation. Of course, on the way home, you think of the perfect answer and the cycle continues.

4 “If he can’t find me, he can’t break up with me.”

In another case where George is more interested in the appearance of something than anything else, he is obsessed with the idea of ​​taking his new girlfriend Allison to a dance organized by her employer. Hearing that she “wants to talk” and knowing exactly what this means, he does his best to avoid her.

Another look at George’s mind, it is clear that he is not worried about losing his girlfriend on any emotional level, he does not make any attempt to save the relationship out of love, he is exclusively interested in holding out long enough to be able to parade with her. in front of your coworkers. Like your dream of pretending to be an architect, it’s all about appearances.

3 “When you seem annoying all the time, people think you’re busy.”

This is a mantra that George has come up with to be given as little work as possible, while at the same time it seems like he’s doing a fantastic job at what is actually absolutely nothing. While he’s not normally a person to take advice from, this is a rare moment of wisdom where fans may have something to gain from his sage advice.

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Of course, things go wrong and he ends up playing too well, eventually leading his boss to think he has anger issues – something avid viewers of the show don’t think is too far off.

2 “Of course I’m worried, I’m paying for those meals!”

In one of George’s most twisted moments, when Elaine asks if he’s worried his new girlfriend might be bulimic, he shares her concern in the most selfish way possible.

As a character, George cares almost exclusively for his own well-being, which is perfectly illustrated right now. In the end, his new girlfriend isn’t actually bulimic and actually just needed to freshen up after eating, prompting her to leave him when he follows her to the ladies’ room to catch her in the act.

one “I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?”

Worried about the possibility of having cancer after a vague response from a doctor at a biopsy appointment, George exclaims that he would like to die as he lived, without dignity. Fans must admire the honesty with which George presents the situation, one of the few things he does that could be considered admirable.

Again, from George’s downward spiral while filming his and Jerry’s pilot, his worries end up being overblown and he doesn’t actually have cancer. In the end, the show doesn’t pick up again and the two are back where they started, but at least they have their health.

NEXT: Seinfeld: 10 Most Regrettable Things George Costanza Did

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