Riverdale It exists in a fictional universe that appears partly in reality and partly in science fiction. However, there are many things in the world that reflect today’s society, and that includes some of the most popular brands.
What makes the fictional brand names in Riverdale so funny is that they are obviously parodies of real-life brands, often with a letter or part of a word changed so that they are not naming the real thing. Or, in some cases, the name is completely different, but the brand you are parodying is still obvious – take Faucets and gargoyles, for example, a clear parody of the equally complex but much less deadly board game Dungeons and Dragons.
Some are better than others, but every time one is pronounced, fans are likely to roll their eyes or laugh hysterically; they most likely do a bit of both.
10 Triple C
In the real world, Triple A insurance refers to auto insurance provided by the American Automobile Association (AAA), hence the name. In Riverdale, car problems mean calling Triple C for help.
What do the “C’s” stand for? That is not clear. Archie only mentions in one episode of the second season that he “doesn’t have a fucking spare”, so they will have to “call Triple C”. As a fictitious brand, it’s not supposed to make sense anyway.
9 Vanity flair
It couldn’t be more obvious than this fake brand that is Riverdale’s version of Vanity fair magazine, with an extra twist, of course. It is mentioned in the first season when Veronica describes her idea of an impossible situation as a guest at Vanity Flair’s Oscar party and Elton John’s Oscar party on the same night. Veronica had to do with social status, after all, so for her, that would be a nightmare.
What makes the fake name so fun is that it is almost identical to the real brand. And that’s part of the humor.
8 The Matchelorette
Maybe it’s a sister series to High school by which the hosts help to find potential mates? Or maybe it’s just your version of the popular dating show. However, Veronica tells Hermione that she wants to invite her girlfriends to see the season premiere, so it is clear that the series is of a similar style. It was just when Veronica was meeting the new crew and dealing with her journey from wealth to poverty.
It’s a fun name that, once again, actually only changes a couple of letters so that the reference is totally obvious.
7 23 hour gym
24 Hour Fitness is a fairly popular chain of gyms, and the concept is simple: Gyms are open 24 hours a day so members can exercise whenever and when their schedule allows. That name suggests all the appeal of the gym because people can go at midnight or noon.
This parody brand, 23 Hour Fitness, apparently closes for only one hour a day. This raises some questions. However, the idea of a gym that is open all hours of the day and night but one is a funny thing.
One of the many brand references that come from Veronica, in this one, she warns Smithers that several boxes will arrive from “Glamazon.com” for her to take upstairs. She went to retail therapy to heal her “emotional wounds” in the first season episode.
Naturally, this is RiverdaleAmazon.com version. Judging from the name, it could be a bit more exclusive and only features elements that make one feel or look glamorous, like Cheryl’s Blossom’s abundance of chic red outfits.
5 Five seasons
This hotel chain has been mentioned several times, even when FP told the family that they had to stay there for fear that the mysterious author who left the videotapes could come to haunt them. It is also where Penelope Blossom resides in the social club / brothel.
But the best mention comes from Veronica, who refers to the seemingly luxurious hotel as “neither the Waldorf nor the Plaza” (both are actual hotel chains), but “like all of Riverdale, it has its charms.” It’s unclear if the hotel is supposed to be a real-life offshoot of the Four Seasons or if that hotel chain just doesn’t exist in the fictional world.
There are many dating and meeting apps, and a popular one in the real world is Grindr, which is a popular app in the LGBTQ + community. But when Betty gets mad at Kevin for stalking in the woods to secretly meet with men before he’s ready to officially speak to his family and friends, she asks him why he doesn’t use Grind’em like “any other gay guy. . “
The name is close enough to Grindr to be considered a parody but far enough away from it to make sense as a similar app that exists in a completely different, fictional, but similar world.
Do these private rental residences require people to share the living space with another person, hence the name? A play at AirBNB hotels, Hal Cooper declares to his family that he will be spending the night at a ShareBNB. All of this happened before it was discovered to be The Black Hood, of course.
Most likely, like AirBNB, a ShareBNB is just a private residence that Hal can reserve using a handy app. Located in downtown Riverdale, it might as well be close to TGI Thursday, another bogus brand on the show.
It’s hard not to laugh at the absurdity of this name, or wonder how the actors manage to pronounce the lines without bursting out laughing. Obviously, this is a luxury jewelry and accessories store brand that only the wealthy dare to enter. Whatever the purchase, they’re likely to look, well, stunning once they’re done.
It is mentioned for the first time in the second season when Hermione asks Hiram if he saw a bag of Spiffany’s entering the apartment that same day. Your gift? A ridiculously expensive Glamergé egg (yet another parody of the Fabergé egg) to sit on the mantle and show off the excess of the family. And probably as an apology for something Hiram did wrong or because Hemione looked the other way because of it.
1 American excess
Speaking of excess, if you ever fit a fake name, it is in this case. Naming a credit card is an obvious game at American Express with the assumption that those who own one tend to overspend. It’s been used numerous times in the series thus far, most recently when Veronica took a video chat with her husband Chad to tell him that he had better unfreeze his American Excess card, or else.
After all, no one really uses an American “Excess” card to pay for the essentials – it’s always travel, expensive shoes, fancy cars, or designer handbags. A clever nod to society’s addiction to consumerism and material possessions, and a clever pun, this name is easily the funniest.
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