Of all the adorable characters in That 70’s show, Michael Kelso steals the show with his comical relief and impeccable lack of common sense in whatever situation he finds himself in. No matter where the gang goes and how much trouble they have, fans can always count on Kelso to make the audience laugh. to try to lift your spirits.
Although he ignored many of his friends and cared primarily about his appearance, his thought process and the things he chooses to share out loud are some of the funniest and most iconic lines in comedy history.
10 “Damn it Jackie, that could be anyone!”
The first few seasons found Kelso and Jackie fighting over the silliest things, but this particular case involved their state of going to prom together.
Jackie hints at how she is helping Donna get ready for prom with Eric, in which Kelso replies that she will go with Pam Macy. To his surprise, Jackie says that she also has a date that is “better than him in every way”, which highlights Kelso’s jealous and self-deprecating sides of his personality.
9 “Jackie, if I was lying, I’d come up with a better lie than that.”
Although Kelso is known to be with Jackie, he also had feelings for Eric’s sister Laurie, whom he ends up getting involved with during season 2.
As he prepares to move out of Forman’s house, Laurie throws Kelso’s shirt at him in front of Hyde and Jackie saying she found it in their room. Kelso recites this line when a suspect Jackie asks him about the shirt, showing how Kelso isn’t very fast on his feet when it comes to lying.
8 “You know guys, I’ve been living my life wrong. All I thought about was school! Studying, reading, doing homework … well that’s over! Thanks Hyde!”
In a flashback to the first time the gang participated in a circle, a Kelso boy shares this line with his friends while wearing an appropriately awkward hat. He gets excited about the fact that Hyde was able to steal his mother’s stash of marijuana for them to try and continues to make his famous laugh.
This moment shows a time when Kelso was a studious individual who cared about his grades before becoming a womanizer obsessed with his appearance.
7 “I’m saying we’re not okay with each other because you make me feel bad!”
Even though Kelso and Jackie were very up and down throughout their relationship, this date was a time when the audience saw Kelso’s serious side about his future at the end of season 4.
Kelso admits that Jackie makes him feel bad and constantly makes him feel less than she does, leading him to cheat on her with Pam Macy. Although Jackie is confused at first by his vulnerability and the admission of how bad it makes him feel, their time together ends forever, despite her expressing guilt.
6 “I need to cut down a tree.”
Although Kelso loves his friends, he will do anything to throw them under the bus, which we see in this scene between him and Red.
As he is caught looking through the tools of Eric’s father, Red, in his garage, Kelso decides to say that he needs a saw and proceeds to create a story about cutting down a tree so that a rabbit will “go back to the wild.” He somehow convinces Red that Eric had the audacity to throw a rabbit into a tree, completely distracting him from the garage situation.
5 “Do you know what your problem is? I’m too handsome.”
Season 7 brings a lot of changes to the show, including introducing Hyde’s half-sister Angie. While in Eric’s basement, Hyde begins to vent about his true bad feelings towards Angie, in which Kelso comforts him with this line.
A few minutes later, Eric asks a question in which Kelso shares this line again to solve his “problem.” He even gets to a point where he shares this line by following one of Red’s stories, which fans know is coming but is still hilarious.
4 “I’m like ketchup, I’m good at everything.”
This scene is an example of that, although you may be handsome, you may not catch a woman’s attention right away, which is a problem for Kelso. He immediately wants to ask Angie out at first sight, though she’s not that impressed by him initially. When he walks into the record store to talk to her, she tells him she’s not his type, leading to offended Kelso using this line.
This tongue-in-cheek quote has good intentions, although it could be argued that ketchup is do not good at everything.
Kelso Burns! done That 70’s show what it is today. This quote is a Kelso staple that is worn for its entire duration on the show and is generally said loudly and proudly in whatever kind of setting it is in with no regrets.
Whether it’s supporting Jackie in a girl fight against Laurie or stepping into a random conversation between Eric and Hyde, Kelso is the comic relief fans can always count on to spice things up.
two “I have the three things women want: I am sexy and I am smart.”
Another look at Kelso’s innocent stupidity is when the gang is hanging out in his circle and Kelso has an epiphany that no one should choose another boy over him.
He continues to share this line, only to be corrected by Donna who only listed two things. Kelso responds by saying that “heat counts twice,” which not only shows his immaturity, but also his belief that being attractive makes him better than other people.
1 “Damn it Jackie, I can’t control the weather!”
One of Kelso’s most iconic quotes from the show occurs in the season 3 episode “Ice Shack.” In this episode, Kelso tries to win Jackie back by organizing a “romantic” getaway in an ice shack. Donna and Eric are also on the trip, whom Kelso tries to copy to impress Jackie.
Donna cools off and Eric offers her his jacket, which is a nice gesture; However, when Jackie says that she’s cold too, Kelso immediately responds with this hilarious line and ends up getting an offer from Fez’s jacket.
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